Saturday, 31 March 2012

There’s nothing like the squeeze of your trousers around your tummy, butt and thighs to make you want to starve and exercise yourself to death.

From the moment I pulled on my work trousers there was a major struggle to button them up and a major threat of ripping! I knew right then that it was time to stop with excuses and start getting my lazy butt into gear!

So on Tuesday I started to eat healthily and drag my butt out of bed to exercise each morning. Five days later and despite working my arse into a state of great pain when getting on and off the toilet, my belly still rolls over the top of my trousers with my butt cheeks still threatened to burst the seams!

Now, I’m not silly, I know that fat loss takes time, lots of time, and I know that I’m not going to see results after just 5 days, but that doesn’t make me any less upset and disappointed when it happens! You see, I just don’t have patience! And that’s the number one thing I hate about dieting and exercising... you need patience…. lots and lots of patience…. and will power, which I don’t have much of either!

It’s weird because when it comes to diet, nutrition, the body and exercise I know a bit about it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no expert but I’ve read enough books and research to know what I have to do, what I shouldn’t do, what’s good for me, what’s bad for me, what works, what doesn’t work, what happens when I eat this, what happens when I do this and what happens when I put a slice of takeaway pizza to my mouth!

But despite this knowledge and despite feeling guilty as I eat food that I know I shouldn’t be, it’s never stopped me. It’s never put me off. And now I’m have to live with the consequences…. a protruding pot belly and pairs of very, very tight trousers!

So once again I’m on a diet! But this time I’m hoping it’ll be different because I’m looking at the longer picture. No more 12 weeks of super strict dieting and exercising to get my perfect shape. Oh no, I’m giving myself until Las Vegas (which is a whopping 9 months away) to achieve a better body!

Lets see if the slow, steady and most importantly, sensible, approach will hopefully help me be motivated, determined and successful!

Saturday, 10 March 2012

Thought of the week: (whilst watching Embarrassing Bodies)
I really wanted to go to bed and get an early night tonight but now I want to see this ladies bagels!!

Has gone out the window! I haven’t been feeling 100% and when I feel like that the last thing I want to do is eat lettuce leaves and cottage cheese. So this week has been filled with cheese toasties, sausage, egg and chips, lasagne, pizza, chocolate cake and biscuits! Not a fabulously clean and healthy diet but i've loved every meal and, for the first time in a long while, I havent constantly been thinking about food and what i'm going to eat! With mums b'day celebrations, meals out and a trip to London on the horizon in the next coupe of weeks I
have decided to eat what I want and sort myself out when things have settled down. Its just easier that way and means I wont feel guilty about the toasties, chips and biscuits that are on the menu this week!

Has also gone out the window! I have somehow managed to tear the calf muscle in my left leg which means I’m walking like I’ve sh*t myself!!

On a more serious note, my leg has swollen, its painful to touch and it aches whether I’m sitting or standing so i've laid off the exercise to prevent any further damage and pain. I've been stinking out the house with plenty of Deep Heat rub and chucking painkillers down my throat in the hope that I would be able to re-start my workout this weekend but its still too sore.

In other news:
Due to my poorly leg I had a couple of days off work to do nothing but sit on the sofa with my leg elevated. During this time my wonderfully kind and caring sister brought me cups of tea, chocolate cake, magazines and even cooked my dinners! I’m very lucky to have a sister who would do that for me so I want to publicly give her a HUGE thank you!! Thank you Louie! Love you!

Also, its national pie week!!! Yay! I love pie.... in fact I love pie so much it is undoubtedly my favourite meal in the whole wide world! Unfortunately my sister isnt a pie fiend like me so I dont get to have them much but tonight she is allowing me to indulge in pie week by cooking me a dinner of pie, new potatos and vegetables. Yum yum!

That's it for this week... well, with a cr*p diet and no exercising there’s not much to say! I'm off to have a cup of tea and danish pasty so until next time....

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Thought of the week:
12 weeks. That’s 84 days. I’m thinking of ordering a Domino’s. And its only day 1.

Fed up of feeling like a hefferlump and eating my weight in cr@p, I decided it’s time to get serious and set myself a challenge! I did this last year when I gave myself 12 weeks to shape up before my 25th birthday and holiday to Ibiza, and I had lots of success with it. It proved that if I keep focused, ignore the negative comments and be patient then I can do it and see results.
So on Monday I started another 12 week challenge! Unfortunately due to birthdays, Easter and various trips away my diet, especially in the earlier weeks, won’t be as strict as before or as I’d like, but if I give it my best shot I should be able to shift a few unwanted pounds!
Today is the 6th day of the challenge and so far so good. It helps that I’m allowing myself one meal a week to have a bit of a blowout to accommodate those birthday parties etc, and having the mentality of “its only 12 weeks- It’s not like you’re never going to get to eat pizza again!” stopped me ordering Domino’s on the first, second and third day of the challenge!!
But, as stated before, I’m fairly busy over the next couple of months so being 100% strict won’t be possible and that includes this weekend- which started last night when my sister treated me to a bottle of wine and chinese takeaway. Then tonight I’m meeting up with a friend who I haven’t seen in ages and, as usual, this will be a rather alcohol fuelled affair so she is cooking up a bit of a pizza feast to line our stomachs! Obviously pizza and alcohol are not the best ingredients for fat loss, add a raging, morning after the night before hangover and it’s a recipe for disaster!!
Therefore I’m hoping to not get too drunk (I often leave the vodka out of my diet Coke which is a cunning way to disguise the fact I’m not drinking alcohol!) and not have the customary cheesy chips in the taxi ride home! Yep, last night wasnt brill for the waistline, tonight will not be good on the diet front either and yet tomorrow it’s Sunday dinner at mums! I really want the roast dinner to be the only naughty thing I eat as a whole day of hung over, soak up all the alcohol scoffing would be waaaaay too many calories for this weekend!

Despite having a niggling pain in my back and struggling to open my tired eyes in the morning, I have still managed to get my sleepy butt out of bed and work myself into a somewhat sweaty state. I’m currently working out 6 mornings a week and have to admit that my legs do feel rather tired, rather quickly! I’m happy to see that my arm exercises are feeling a little easier to do though as I do struggle with these. This, added to the fact I’m not in complete and utter pain for days after, suggests to me that I’m getting a tad stronger and am recovering well.

This morning I have already spent a hardcore 25 minutes doing circuits involving squats, press ups, dips and lunges but as you already know, I’m having a night on the tiles tonight so rather than missing tomorrows session (sleeping at my friends tonight and spending tomorrow at my parents means no time!) I am going to do another blood pumping, muscle hurting weight session this afternoon! Who knows, I may like exercising later on in the day and, fingers crossed, it might make me feel a bit less guilty about the food and alcohol I’m about to consume!!

In other news:

In preparation for tonights night on the town I've just shaved my legs... and for the first time ever I did it without cutting them!!! Man, I feel like a woman! (Da, da, da da, da, da da << Shania Twain style!)

Saturday, 25 February 2012

Thought of the week:
There’s a reason why the word diet has die in it!!

Okay, I confess – I totally screwed up my diet last weekend!
After my night out at The Plough on Friday I was supposed to get back to eating healthy at the weekend but come Saturday there I was, sat on the sofa, watching Take Me Out, gorging on a Chinese takeaway! Fast forward to Sunday- I got out of bed, started eating, and never stopped! I don’t know how many calories I got through over those three days but it was A LOT!!
Needless to say, the guilt over my complete and utter piggyness made me make the decisions to:
1) cut a few more carbs out of the diet for the week,
2) say no to pancakes on Pancake day,
3) have only a small serving of mums dinner on Thursday and
4) scrap this weekend’s naughty meal.
Now, don’t be too surprised but I totally f**ked up numbers 2 and 3 which kind of buggered up number 1!
I can’t really be blamed for failing point 2 though as I’m pretty sure it’s against the law not to have pancakes on Pancake day?! And, I can’t really be blamed for failing point 3 either seeing as mum made one of my all-time favourite meals!
Okay, so it’s not illegal but Pancake day is (after Christmas, Easter and my birthday) my favourite day of the year and if I didn’t have pancakes on Pancake day I would never get to eat them! As for Thursday’s hiccup, mum had brought all the ingredients for the good, old gravy dinner of toad in the hole and seeing as I cooked it and I love my British gravy dinners, nothing would have stopped me eating a lot of it!
Needless to say the last 7 days have been a complete write off on the diet front and have now been added to the “try to pretend this never happened” bin!

I may not be brilliant at keeping my fingers out of the biscuit tin but I sure can drag my butt out of bed and pump some iron! And this week I cranked things up a notch!
I decided to reduce the number of sets I do but increase the number of reps per set- for anyone who doesn’t know, this results in some major muscle burn and fatigue! The lactic acid seriously burns but after feeling the need to make amends for the diet front, I wasn’t ready to stop there and finished off each session with a couple of heart pumping circuits.
Yep, the exercise has been a real killer this week but I’ve kept at it and I’m glad that this side of things seems to be going fantastically! My cr*p diet has left me feeling a bit bloated and pot-bellied but at the same time I feel a bit fitter and stronger due to the weight training.
I’m not 100% sure whether I’ve packed on some muscle but after getting “ I hate muscles on women” as a response from my sister when I flexed a bicep, I’m more inclined to say I may have rather than I haven’t!
I still need to start jogging or some other form of cardio but as I have no plans for a summer holiday this year, I have no plans in wearing a bikini this year, and therefore have no plans in rushing!

In other news:
Our newly decorate lounge looks amazing! It went from this.....

to this.....

Yep, we love our new look, more spacious livng room and I am very proud seeing as I did most of it! Who says girls can't DIY!

Saturday, 18 February 2012

Thought of the week:
My knickers are so far up my arse I might as well be wearing a thong!

I love my food (especially the high carb, high fat, high calorie stodgy stuff) and I love lots of it! Yep, when I eat I like proper portions, none of this “one leaf of lettuce and I’m a salad” crap! Of course, it’s due to my love of food and man-sized portions that I now have a pot belly that likes to roll over the top of my trousers at the same time as pushing my top over my belly button! Now, I could just buy bigger clothes but I’d need money for that, so I’ve been left with the only other option available- diet and exercise! Urgh!
Google will tell you that pastry, fried foods, sugar, alcohol, and every other food I love, needs to be cut out for fat loss which is why I always tend to fail… and which is why I’m so proud of myself right now…. because (with the exception of a Peanut Butter Kit Kat chunky) I’ve gone a whopping 10 days without any naughty food!
That’s a real achievement for me and it was easier than I thought! There were a couple of evenings where that pizza menu nearly crept out the pizza menu drawer, due to my laziness in not really wanting to cook rather than actually craving one, but I stayed strong, got my arse off the sofa and cooked my chicken and veg knowing that I would enjoy my naughty meal at the end of the week a lot more if I did!
Although I’m chuffed about going 10 days without any major slip ups, I know I need to keep it up if I’m ever going to lean up and that has never been easy! Things always seem crop up that seem to make it difficult for me to eat my “diet” foods- take this coming week for example:
Its Pancake Day is this Tuesday and my sister always makes up a big, yummy batch for us to enjoy after dinner, and then on Thursday it’s dinner at mums where I’ll eat whatever gorgeous meal I’m served. Trying to diet around plans like these is difficult as I don’t want to put people out and seem unappreciative of their generosity. Luckily, I think I have a solution! I’ll have a few pancakes on Tuesday as my dinner, I’ll have a “normal” portion of mums cooking on the Thursday and I’ll scrap my naughty meal for the week- basically, I’ll have two smaller treats rather than one huge blowout!

On the physical front, everything is going A-OK. Again, I don’t seem to be feeling the pain of ripped muscles but I’m hoping this is because I’m getting stronger and eating and resting well rather than not putting in enough effort! Seeing as each workout is still getting my heart rate up and my blood pumping i/m definitely hitting it intensely so hopefully I’ll start seeing some serious results soon.
It hasn’t been easy getting out of bed in the dark, cold mornings though. There has been a couple of times when I’ve been snuggled under my duvet wondering whether to opt for a lie in but determination has prevailed, and after downing a cup of hot green tea during my warm up, I’m soon wide awake and sweating!

In other news:
Last night I had an indulgent meal at The Plough in Fen Ditton as my naughty meal. After 10 days of strictness I felt I had earned the meal and was able to enjoy it without thinking about diets, calories or wobbly bits! It was also fab due to the voucher we had (bargain) and the great company of my sister! We get on really well (a good thing really seeing as we live together!) but add a bottle of wine, a gorgeous three course meal and lots of chit chat, and you have a giggly, girlie scene worthy of a Sex and The City episode!
Also in other news, today we have started our lounge makeover! Our handyman is currently showing me his builders bum as he gets to work on ripping out the old wooden fire place so he can replaced it with our rather sleek looking wall mounted one! Once done we need to redecorate the wall with pink wallpaper so we are being really, really nice to Dad! Hee hee!

Saturday, 11 February 2012

Thought of the week:
I hate it when people whistle out of their nose! It’s soooo distracting!

Well, the week didn’t start great as on Monday (the day straight after my naughty meal) I ordered a Dominos….. a big Dominos! So big that when I finished my stomach really, reeeeally hurt! Needless to say the discomfort has taken the appeal out of ordering anymore takeaways for a while and even if it didn’t, the bloated belly and wind I had to deal with the next day sure did! I mean it’s never ideal having to handle that on any day, let alone a work day. I spent most of my time squeezing your buttocks together trying to prevent any unwanted fragrances escaping my arse and floating around the office! And unfortunately I had it bad! So bad that there was more than one occasion where I “let rip” on the toilet and I swear I lifted a couple of inches off the seat!! (At this point I would like to state that it takes a very brave individual who, when they leave the toilet and meet the audience who clearly heard the windy shenanigans, walks passed smiling in an unassuming, “nothing happened, you heard wrong” kind of way. Luckily, I’m one of those individuals!)
Since then I have been eating the usual “good for you” foods with no slip ups and due to my early week failure, this weekend’s naughty meal is cancelled! I shall be making my own healthy, low carb version of spaghetti bolognese instead.

After the lack of sore, achy muscles from my kettlebell session I decided that I needed to “let rip” (in a completely different context to above!!) and up my game. So I ditched the circuits and supersets for the more hardcore approach of hammering one body part constantly for a period of time. This approach was immense and my body felt the tiredness and pain as I repeatedly hit the same exercise over and over. As the day passed I could feel the soreness emerging and by Tuesday night I was “feeling it” all over- in my arms, my legs, my back, my butt…. and I loved it! I was also “feeling it” in my stomach which I didn’t love so much due to the pain it caused when I had to push out a little of that Dominos induced wind!
But the pain never stopped me and the very next day I picked up the kettlebell again. Only this time, despite the already slightly sore muscles, I really wanted to feel the burn so I swung it HIIT style! I managed to last a whopping 5 minutes doing 20 seconds on, 10 seconds rest before having to move onto a bit of HIIT shadow boxing. Again I punched my way through 20 seconds of time before resting for 10 seconds and re-starting. 5 minutes later I grabbed my kettlebell for the second time and repeated! That workout lasted just 20 minutes in total and oh boy, there was no lack of soreness this time!

In other news:
I have another dish to add to my list of perfect culinary creations! My meatloaf…

As you can see it turned out fantastically and tasted just as good! There was some left over which I heated up and served with some brussels and carrots later on in the week– it really does make a quick, hassel free, yummy weekday dinner!
Last weekend we were lucky enough to have some reward for this horribly cold weather…. Snow! And lots of it! Thankfully, despite a few scary moments, I was still able to drive to my parents for nans birthday roast dinner! The snow really made for a great weekend, especially for Bertie who had never seen the white stuff before! Since then we have had even more snow which I feel gives me enough reason to wear my Santa socks despite it being mid-February!
Finally, this Friday coming will be getting our new, sleek looking fireplace installed. I have the day booked off work (you know, just in case the handyman needs my help!) and in the evening my sister and I will play taxi to my parents as we drop them off to see the Johann Strauss orchestra before we head to The Plough in Fen Ditton for dinner. This meal will be my naughty meal for the week and I’m very, very excited about it as I haven't eaten out i ages!

Saturday, 4 February 2012

Thought of the week:
February already... oooh, pancake day this month!

In my opinion the key factor to losing fat and keeping it off is patience… and unfortunately I don’t have a lot of it. Personally when I put in the effort I want to see results straight away even though I know it doesn’t work like that! So after a week or so, despite feeling generally “better” in myself, I do find myself feeling disheartened by the fact my pot belly is still there and end up reaching for the telephone to give Dominos my usual order. And this week has been no different….
After last week’s decision to be super-duper strict, 24/7, I knew that I would never be able to do it and therefore I decided that I would allow myself to have one meal a week where I could eat or drink whatever I wanted. This would hopefully keep me on track by having a treat to look forward to and work hard for. This new plan seemed to be working as day after day passed without any slip ups. I was feeling, fit, healthy, (and even slimmer!) but then Thursday hit! All of a sudden I felt fat and down in the dumps, BUT I kept on course and was pretty chuffed with myself! But then yesterday hit... in a big way... when at work... as I noticed how just fat and wobbly my thighs were when I was sitting on the toilet! I mean seriously! I’ve been squatting, lunging, stepping, butt clenching for the past for 3 weeks and they still look like that! They look exactly the same as when I did nothing but sit on my arse feeding it chips! Obviously this did not go down well so I wiped, pulled up my knickers, did up my trousers, sucked in my stomach and stomped back to my desk! It’s safe to say that every ounce of my will power was at work last night as I marginally managed to stick to my diet and downed just the one Carlsberg!
It’s now Saturday which means I only have to get through today before I get to indulge this week’s naughty meal – mum's roast lamb dinner! Surely I can do that? Right??

Due to all my naughtiness in the past few weeks I have made sure to keep up with my six weight sessions a week. Not only that but I have increased my workload by adding a few more reps to my sets. Even though I absolutely hate it at the time, I do love the buzz I feel afterwards and when I do slip up diet wise, I feel that a good, hard workout helps to counteract some of it!
To be honest, I also love the buckets of sweat and sore, achy muscles that comes with it- it makes me feel that I’ve really done some good work!
Talking of sore, achy muscles, I decided to switch things up a bit this week so on Wednesday I reached for the kettlebell! I did swing after swing after swing, and expected to “feel it” immensely the next day. I was rather disappointed when I didn’t! Maybe I’m just fitter than I thought? Or maybe (and most likely) I didn’t push myself hard enough?? Either way it was a nice change from my usual routine so I’ll definitely work that kettlebell again…. only more fiercely!

In other news:
Firstly, I want to congratulate my mum (who won’t be reading this as she doesn’t really do technology!) on her fantastic efforts and weight loss. We brought her a dress this Christmas which didn’t quite do up, but instead of returning it for a bigger size she used it as her incentive to cut out the chocolate and crisps. We visited her last weekend and guess what she was wearing when she opened the door….. yep, her Christmas present! And it fitted perfectly- well done mum!
On my quest to eat nice and healthily I have been doing some googling and looking for some yummy new recipes I could try. In my opinion, I make a great green thai chicken curry, beef stroganoff and chilli con carne, and tonight I’m hoping to add meatloaf to that list as I’ll be making and tasting my very first one! Of course, I don’t make the traditional style of the dishes as the amount of carbs are a no-go for me, but they certainly fill a hole and tickle my taste buds!
Finally, I promised my sister I wouldn’t tell anybody about this soooooo…
When out for a muddy walk last Sunday my sister unfortunately lost her purse with some money in it. If that wasn’t upsetting enough, she also got dog turd all over her fingers after picking up Berty’s rather runny poo!! Of course, I nearly wet myself laughing at this but my sister was less than pleased! Who said being a responsible dog owner was easy!