Good evening and welcome to this special Pickle news bulletin.
Our top story today...
After over-indulging for the past 4 weeks Pickle's waist line is bulging to the point where it has now taken up residence flopping over the waistband of her trousers!
Our sources say that Pickle is not looking her best and isnt very fond of her newly grown muffin top that makes the buttons on her trousers pop open! To add to the drama, her face has also enrupted with "greasy food and alcohol induced" spots making her look like a human dot to dot puzzle, and her attempts to get back into exercise are resulting in near death heartattacks.
Our source says:
"Pickle's really struggling to get back into exercise, especially with her running. She used to run 5km each morning but she's lucky to make the 2km mark these days!"
Its fair to say that Pickle's 12 week Ibiza challenge is yet another plan to add to her long list of failed health kick attempts!!
Pickle, who is feeling incredibly demoralised and sorry for herself, has released the following statement:
"Firstly to call me a human dot to dot is sooo not nice! I've always had dodgy skin and its not my fault my concealor wont cover the buggers!
Secondly, I would like to declare that my fight with my pot belly is not a battle - its a war! And whilst I may have retreated on this and every other previous occassion, I will not be defeated! I have been dieting since I was a toddler so am well practised and come Monday the 11th July I will once again prepare my healthy eating and exercise arsenal for another battle!
At this point I would like to re-confirm that this will start on Monday the 11th July 2011- therefore I should not be judged for the crap I shove down my throat tonight and this weekend!
Thank you"
There you have it folks - straight from the pigs (*gasps*) sorry horses, mouth- podgy Pickle will return to her healthy ways starting this Monday so make sure you stay tuned for her regular, and what she feels to be rather humourous, weekend updates!
Our top story today...
After over-indulging for the past 4 weeks Pickle's waist line is bulging to the point where it has now taken up residence flopping over the waistband of her trousers!
Our sources say that Pickle is not looking her best and isnt very fond of her newly grown muffin top that makes the buttons on her trousers pop open! To add to the drama, her face has also enrupted with "greasy food and alcohol induced" spots making her look like a human dot to dot puzzle, and her attempts to get back into exercise are resulting in near death heartattacks.
Our source says:
"Pickle's really struggling to get back into exercise, especially with her running. She used to run 5km each morning but she's lucky to make the 2km mark these days!"
Its fair to say that Pickle's 12 week Ibiza challenge is yet another plan to add to her long list of failed health kick attempts!!
Pickle, who is feeling incredibly demoralised and sorry for herself, has released the following statement:
"Firstly to call me a human dot to dot is sooo not nice! I've always had dodgy skin and its not my fault my concealor wont cover the buggers!
Secondly, I would like to declare that my fight with my pot belly is not a battle - its a war! And whilst I may have retreated on this and every other previous occassion, I will not be defeated! I have been dieting since I was a toddler so am well practised and come Monday the 11th July I will once again prepare my healthy eating and exercise arsenal for another battle!
At this point I would like to re-confirm that this will start on Monday the 11th July 2011- therefore I should not be judged for the crap I shove down my throat tonight and this weekend!
Thank you"
There you have it folks - straight from the pigs (*gasps*) sorry horses, mouth- podgy Pickle will return to her healthy ways starting this Monday so make sure you stay tuned for her regular, and what she feels to be rather humourous, weekend updates!
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